Today’s read is from Tom Purcell, an author and humor columnist for the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. Here’s an excerpt:

Girl Scout cookie season is upon us, my friends — the most agonizing of all the seasons.

Thanks to two years of sloth and diet abuse, the COVID pandemic has really set me back in the health and fitness department.

But in the last few weeks I’ve been eating right, exercising in my new home gym and going on

And now, just as I am on the cusp of making my new healthy-living routine permanent, I am greeted — that is, accosted — by a cabal of Girl Scouts stationed outside the entrance of my local grocery store.

Which is why, for our greater good, Girl Scout cookies must be banned, cancelled, de-platformed, whatever, by the federal government.

Read the entire column here.