“You’ve got white hair”

Cool Waters Aquatic Center - Adjacent to Pavilion | Cool Wat… | Flickr

Today I took my daughter to Cool Waters Aquatic Park in Greenfield Park in West Allis. Not a bad water park (c’mon, it ain’t WI Dells). The water felt fantastic.

Not long after we arrived Kyla and I headed to the water slides. To start off Kyla wanted to go down the slide solo on a water tube. I chose to get in the line next to hers to go down on my back in a body slide (I did this several times for the record).

At some point as we all ascended to the top to begin our slide trips a young boy in the tube line found himself directly across from me. Middle Eastern kid. Dopy grin as he looked at me and said:

“Grum’pa.”

Nicely, I responded, “Huh?”

“Hey Grum’pa.”

“I’m not a grandpa.”

“You’re old.”

“What?”

“You’re old.”

“So that means I can’t go down this slide?”

“Well, you’ve got white hair.”

“So what!”

More grins. Stupid looks. For a split second I thought of W.C. Fields, who might also be accused of being old. He once said:

“Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.”

We now return to my scintillating conversation with what appeared to be a 10-11 year old.

If he thought his next insult would be even more of a low blow…he was wrong.

“What are you? 42?”

My turn to laugh and grin sharply.

Does the story get better?

Once more. Did I hear you loudly and clearly?

Does the story get better?

I scoot down onto the slide on my backside grabbing the bar up above my head. Fully seated  I now lower my back and fold my arms above my chest as I release my 42-year old body downward (OK, I was still smirking).

I’ve done this at Cool Waters before. At the end of the slide as water cascades all over my face I suddenly end the excitement, standing tall and triumphantly on both legs. As I do I look over to my right and the young lad you was just a bit off on my age has completed his slide on a tube, only to run into some trouble.

Poor kid (yeh right). He can’t get out of his tube. He’s stuck. Trapped. Unable to move. A life guard is forced to intervene and help sassy pants out of his tube.

I’m walking like John Wayne to the exit stairs and yell over, “Hey you!” To the lifeguard who was called in to extra duty I cried “No not you. Him!”

He finally turned around and I pounced.

“What’s uh matter? You said I was too old. I had no trouble jumping to my feet after my body slide. But you needed help from a lifeguard because you couldn’t crawl out of your tube.”

The boy’s mother was waiting for him to climb out of the water. I explained with my own grin what happened. Her response?

A hearty laugh and “Thank you!”

A FINAL NOTE:

To the young ladies at Cool Waters who had pretty decent bikini bods, good for you.

BUT…too bad you had to ruin it with crap plastered all over.

One thought on ““You’ve got white hair”

  1. Pingback: My Most Popular Blogs (08/16/21) | This Just In… From Franklin, WI

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