They both infuriate me.

The first is the ubiquitous sentiment, most annoying when rattled off by local TV people when referring to the scourge of 2020, the pandemic:

“We’re all in this together.”

I’m not sorry when I react that no, we’re not.

Personally, I am NOT in this together with looters, violent protesters, BLM, fascists, socialists, lockdown crazed governors, power-hungry un-elected health directors, arrogant maskholes, any and all Karens , Dr. Fauci, Fauci’s disciples, anti-Trumpers, wussy Republicans, educrats  who refuse to open their schools, teachers who desire staying home and working in their pajamas,  phony Hollywood celebrities, fraudsters,  cheaters, fraud deniers, the liberal news media that lectures us that we are all in this together, the vast majority of college and university professors, public defenders, most millennials, snowflakes, Bear and Viking fans, Starbucks.

I would also venture to say that many liberal-minded folks would tend to agree that “We’re all in this together” just flat out isn’t practical.

Let’s not forget there are those who monetarily can at least handle the virus and those who are simply too poor to put up any kind of a fight. As many as 48 million live below the poverty line. How many more live paycheck to paycheck before they, too, find themselves in true poverty. There communities that aren’t affluent. Not even close. The evicted and those who are about to be. The homeless. Those with limited or no access to health care. Those working and those who are unemployed, desperately waiting for checks to arrive.

Milwaukee business leader Joe Sweeney wrote a guest editorial for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

I’ve heard it at least a hundred times, and I still don’t buy it: “We’re in this together.” It’s the new tagline in every commercial, whether they’re selling BMWs or baby wipes. Drive around greater Milwaukee, and you’ll see this comforting message on billboards and handmade lawn signs. As we struggle in a state with a high rate of new COVID-19 cases and our ongoing racial unrest amplified by nationwide protests, “we’re in this together” is a welcome, even noble sentiment. Except it’s not true. it’s a fabrication. Fake news maybe?

I’ve lived and worked in this city for most of my adult life, and I can’t recall a time when we’ve been more divided than we are today, and this staggering pandemic has done little to bring us together. If anything, it’s widened the distance between left and right, liberal and conservative, Republican and Democrat, black and white.

The great philosopher Lady Gaga told Jimmy Fallon, “I… think that the fight that I’m in—or that you’re in, right?—is very different than the fight of a woman that is in, perhaps, an abusive relationship and has a child and lost her job and can’t feed her kid and can’t feed herself and also can’t get the help that she needs because she’s in a violent situation. We’re all in this together was a tricky statement because… I want to honor that that woman is not in the same fight that I’m in, and I want to help her fight that fight.”

“We’re all in this together,” said Gaga, was “a tricky statement because… I want to honor that that woman is not in the same fight that I’m in, and I want to help her fight that fight.”

“We’re all in this together” ranks in sincerity with the pimply-faced kid at the fast food joint who with an icy stare tells you to “have a nice day.”

The other expression, not as nauseating, but it still drives me nuts

There many variations, but it generally starts out like this:

INSERT SOMETHING EXTREMEY POSITIVE, such as, “Gee wouldn’t it be nice if the Packers humiliated the Chicago Bears with a blowout butt-kicking.” It’s eventually followed by how nice the preceding mention of the greatest thing since sliced bread would be because we desperately could use the phenomenal news since, you know, the year 2020 and all.

We all know what 2020’s been like and don’t require reminder #4,837. Can’t we just welcome said positivity without the doom and gloom? And this has been going on for 9 months.

The cynic in me says it’s typically the message of a Trump hater. We’ve got this virus. It’s Trump’s fault. He hasn’t done enough. And even if we get a morsel of good fortune it’s not nearly enough because we’re still suffering thanks to…Trump.

Cue Auld Lang Syne.