Godzilla and…Judy Garland?

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“Godzilla: King of the Monsters” opens in theaters today.

The story is about humongous monsters, including the mighty Godzilla, that rise again to battle for supremacy. The critics have not been kind.

Many of you may not be surprised to learn that G:KotM has a cockamamie plot with logic holes big enough to drive a King Kong through. What if you just want to see Godzilla, Mothra, Ghidorah, Rodan, and friends slap each other around, shoot lasers, and set off explosions?

The film’s 130-minute runtime includes a grand total of three fight sequences, and they’re all utter bummers. Worse, the one monster-on-monster fight that takes place in a real-world city, Boston, does not in any way use its real-world landmarks in compelling ways. Why doesn’t someone slam one of these green monsters into Fenway’s Green Monster? Or grab a giant monument like Bunker Hill and use it as a deadly implement?  Instead, most of the combat revolves around massive blasts of lightning, fire, or radiation, which conveniently fill the screen with distracting amounts of light so that the visual effects crew doesn’t have to render anything complicated, detailed, or compelling.
Arstechnica.com

It’s a massive but uninspiring movie, a visual effects extravaganza without a vision.
Theringer.com

One goes to see Godzilla: King of the Monsters for the enormous supernatural creatures destroying cities and each other, not for nuanced drama and characterizations. Which is good, because there’s considerable large-scale carnage—and very little logic—to be found in this big, dumb and only sporadically fun monster mash.
The Daily Beast

There’s too much shaky camera work and too many quick cuts, making the action unclear.
CNET.com

We had no intention of seeing Godzilla, even after watching the monster’s preview just before “Aladdin” a few weeks ago. There was something about that trailer that was weird, strange, definitely out of place.

Seeing it, no, hearing it told me, this just isn’t right.

One website called the background “a melancholic and soaring version of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ atop of all the glorious carnage and jaw-dropping visuals for the biggest kaiju battle yet.”

And that’s exactly what’s wrong. Here’s one of the most beautiful movie songs ever, one so magnificent and splendid that no one since Judy Garland has been able to do it justice being used to peddle a monster flick.

Overreaction? I asked my wife. She said no, that she felt the same way.

Stunning, incredible, and beautiful some reviewers call the trailer. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I choose (except on rare occasions) to keep my money rather than send it to Hollywood.

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