Culinary no-no #608

Culinary no-no began on Father’s Day 2007, a beautiful summer day, when I wrote about grilling brats. And eating brats. And topping those brats. I was inspired by my wife, Jennifer who, in my admittedly unscientific opinion, ruins brats by squirting ketchup on them. Other dining taboos quickly came to mind. The original idea was to take this concept only a few months, till the end of summer and then pull the plug. Then the unexpected happened. People started reading Culinary no-no. Lots of folks. So we keep doing the no-no.

When was the last time you were in one of these?

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For me it had to have been when I was a teenager. So that’s, um, let’s see, that’s many years ago.

I’m amazed at the crazy new creations American food places and companies are coming up with as of late that sound insanely delicious.

Southern fried chicken at Cracker Barrel.

Cinnabon dessert biscuits at KFC.

Dark berry-flavored Dr. Pepper.

Cheese bites at Burger King.

Dole Whip margaritas at Disney.

And about IHOP.

Double Blueberry Pancakes Image

Strawberry Banana Pancakes Image

Chocolate Chocolate Chip Pancakes  Image

They’ve come up with a new entry on their International Pancake menu. Interesting combination.

Various chocolate pieces on cutting board Royalty-free stock photo


homemade ricotta cheese curds in a white bowl on a blue table

IHOP takes buttermilk pancakes, then rolls and fills them with sweet Ricotta cream & chocolate pieces. The pancakes are topped with crunchy cannoli pieces, chocolate chips & creamy whipped topping.

Italian Cannoli Pancakes Image

And you have an Italian Cannoli Pancake. That plate will cost you $9.29 and 970 calories.

I can hear you muttering. So fine. Where’s the no-no? Actually, I’ve already laid it out for you.

This blogger is not a picky eater. I don’t get stomach aches. I love pancakes. But, can’t eat them. Oh, they don’t make me sick. One or two bites, though, and I’ve had it. I feel bloated as though I just downed two Thanksgiving dinners.

Weird. I’m not lactose intolerant. No issues with dairy. No allergies. And it ain’t the syrup since french toast and waffles don’t stuff me.

Over at the Mad Rooster Cafe near Miller Park daughter Kyla could easily take care of these.

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Not me.

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Those are pineapple macadamia nut pancakes at the Kona Cafe inside the Polynesian Resort at Disney World. My wife shares a small forkful with me, but I don’t dare eat any more otherwise I could no longer dive into my Tonga Toast.

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Ah, the ultra-thin Swedish pancakes with lingonberries at the legendary Al Johnson’s in Door County, Wisconsin. Now those I can handle. So maybe it’s the thickness?  I don’t think so because I can’t even finish these from McDonald’s.

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This culinary no-no isn’t a major concern of mine. It does have me scratching my head. As a kid I never left a scrap of Mom’s pancakes with apples inside the batter.

Recently I had some waitresses at our family Sunday spot after Church questioning my brunch sanity when they told me I absolutely had to try a new item.

“You have to. You just have to.”

Sounded great. Looked great when I saw a plate delivered to another table.

Cinnamon roll pancakes.  Big as manhole covers.

“Can’t” I sadly informed the ladies. Instead of gaining sympathy my explanation drew looks as though I was from another planet.

It’s okay. Small price to pay if I can devour just about everything else under the sun.


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