Culinary no-no #593

THERE ARE THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF FOOD BLOGS, BUT ONLY ONE CULINARY NO-NO!

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That’s Rep. Earl Blumenauer, D-Oregon.

CBS’ “Face the Nation” broadcast a feature about the Congressman this morning and what many would consider his rather unusual olive branch.

Fruitcake clearly was on the minds of CBS News editors. Another report earlier today showed that not everyone is a hater.

“Sun-ripened California raisins, delicious pineapple, crunchy Georgia pecans, plump juicy cherries, freshly shelled walnuts and almonds, tangy lemon and orange peel….blended into a rich pound-cake batter…..baked to a golden brown.”

Now to me, that sounds pretty good. It’s from the website of the famous Claxton Bakery in Georgia, known for its fruitcake.

Of course, the fruitcake has become the Rodney Dangerfield of Christmas treats.

‘Fruitcakes make good door stops.’

‘Fruitcakes make good weights on a grandfather clock.’

‘Fruitcakes make good Christmas wreaths.’

‘Fruitcakes make good Curling stones.’

Then there is this:

Some Great Things About Fruitcake
Patrick G Horneker
October 15, 2005

How many of you really enjoy eating fruitcake? Not many? I didn’t think so. Fruitcake is one of the most versatile foods anyone can (or should I say cannot) consume…and here are some really great things about fruitcake that you may or may not ever have heard about.

_ Fruitcake can withstand hurricanes, avalanches, blizzards, desert heat andother natural weather phenomenom.

_ One day it is sitting on a plate ready to serve, the next day, it is part of the foundation for a new building.

_ Fruitcake is made with candied fruit, walnuts, our, sugar, and rum. You can, of course, substitute cement mix for our and Chicago River water for rum, and the fruitcake would still taste the same.

_ Most cakes are served with ice cream or whipped topping. Fruitcake is best served with antacids and bicarbonate of soda.

_ You can pound nails into cement with a fruitcake.

_ You can  fix a street or a parking lot by pouring fruitcake batter into the potholes after the spring thaw.

_ The only way to make a fruitcake better is to paint a masterpiece on it.

Why the fruitcake gets little respect is beyond me. Any food that has such great ingredients as sugar, fruit, sugar, nuts, sugar, raisins and sugar can’t be that bad.

It’s quite possible that with so many other goodies in the house like candy, cookies, gingerbread men and the like, the fruitcake gets overlooked.

That’s a shame because I find fruitcakes and stollens to be quite tasty, smeared with butter with a hot cup of tea.

So, if you get a fruitcake as a gift this year, don’t give it away.

And don’t be afraid.

Dig in.

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