Culinary no-no #579


Regular readers have come to expect a build-up to the actual no-no. That’s the case this week.

Let’s start with some key ingredients.

Baked Corned Beef with a Kick

Delicious corned beef. It’s not just for St. Patrick’s Day.



Lots of brick cheese that has been grated.

Pile it all nice and high on some…

And spread that  bread with some…

And you’ve got a terrific sandwich, right?

Except, that’s not the no-no.

Lions and Tigers and Squares in New York’s Chelsea neighborhood. The pizzas are not square, but six-by-nine-inch rectangles. They’re baked two at a time in black metal pans, then lined up side by side behind a sneeze guard on the counter.

Detroit-style pizza Detroit is characterized by a crunchy crust  with brick cheese on the bottom and the tomato sauce on top. When baked the cheese overflows the pie and forms a crusty toasted ridge around it between the pan and pie.

ICYMI in the news recently you’ve probably figured out the not so tasty taboo.

Lions and Tigers and Squares partner Francis Garcia says a strange new type of pizza dates back to a Trenton, New Jersey restaurants. An intoxicated fellow entered Papa’s Tomato Pie and ordered a mushroom pizza.

But the poor guy was slurring his speech to the point where the chef thought he heard him say he wanted a “mustard” pizza.

So Lions and Tigers and Squares is getting national attention for its…

A Detroit-style eatery in New York City uses mustard instead of tomato sauce on one of their pizzas.

Mustard replaces the traditional marinara sauce.

Maybe it’s pretty good. I don’t know. But the internet jury is out, and for the most part it’s not supportive.

“To all yall that complain about pineapples on pizza, THIS pizza with mustard on it is what yall should be disgusted with instead.”

“This is why the aliens won’t visit us.”

“This is not a pizza. This is some type of sub, disguised as a pizza. It likely doesn’t taste bad if you somehow like sauerkraut. It’s just “disgusting” because your mind expects “pizza” but that’s clearly not a pizza.”

“I had no idea mustard pizza was a thing. Sounds so nasty.”

“Folks out here putting mustard on pizza. Stop it right now.”

“No. I enjoy mustard on my sandwich, burger, or hot dog. But pizza? Sweet baby Jesus, no.”

In Sicily, this is punishable by stoning.”

“You mustard be out your mind.”

“This is criminal. What’s wrong with people? Flavored iced teas are bad enough. Ketchup on breakfast food? Unacceptable. Mustard pizza? Off with your heads.”

“What’s this mustard on pizza thing? Tomato sauce is what makes a pizza a pizza, otherwise it’s just cheesy bread, so if you’re swapping tomato sauce for mustard, it’s not pizza.”

“What goes through the minds of these people while making these atrocities.”

That last point…EXACTLY!

As I’ve written in the past, when it comes to food I’m all for being creative. But you can get too cute. This is one of those examples. A great deli sandwich, yes. Pizza? I’m leaning no. I’ll bet the average Italian would agree.


A ban in Florence

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s