Culinary no-no began on Father’s Day 2007, a beautiful summer day, when I wrote about grilling brats. And eating brats. And topping those brats. I was inspired by my wife, Jennifer who, in my admittedly unscientific opinion, ruins brats by squirting ketchup on them. Other dining taboos quickly came to mind. The original idea was to take this concept only a few months, till the end of summer and then pull the plug. Then the unexpected happened. People started reading Culinary no-no. Lots of folks. So we keep doing the no-no.
Have you made your Valentine’s Day plans yet?
You really should since it’s about 10 hours away.
Well, of course, not really. But the day is fast approaching, less than two weeks from now, meaning if you don’t do something soon you could be left with no plans whatsoever on February 14.
That could result in having to stay at home.
Hey, nothing wrong with that. Privacy, baby.
So you’re left to your own devices, cooking for yourselves. Again, no problemo.
The Food Network (and a gazillion other websites) suggests great ideas on what to prepare for a lovely evening including the following:
In order, roast chicken, beef Wellington, chicken cordon bleu.
If you are successful in making restaurant reservations expect special menus (albeit with inflated prices).
My lovely bride would love a night out at nearby Joey Gerard’s in Greendale.
Guaranteed she’d order the Steak Diane: Seared peppered beef medallions cooked in a brandy-mustard sauce with sautéed mushrooms and mashed potatoes.
Um, say Kev…this all sounds kinda yummy so far. We all know you like to build up to the no-no…
I’m gettin’ to it. I’m gettin’ to it!
My wife and I won’t be celebrating On Valentine’s Day. Kyla has Irish dance class, and I’ll be at a basketball game.
But even if the night’s schedule was open we’d still take a pass.
You see, we’re Catholics.
Valentine’s Day falls on Ash Wednesday, the day that Lent officially begins.
The faithful have ashes put on their foreheads that are made from the olive branches or branches of other trees that were blessed the previous year on Palm Sunday.
The act of putting on ashes symbolizes fragility and mortality, and the need to be redeemed by the mercy of God.
The priest places ashes on the head of all those present who come to him, and says to each one:
Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.
Abstinence is required. That means no meat.
Piece of cake, right? Just order a slab of seafood.
Except there’s that Steak Diane calling Jennifer’s name. Not to mention the assortment of beef entrees that are a must on any February 14th menu.
Seriously, this is a dilemma. It’s like St. Patrick’s Day falling on a Friday in Lent in a place with an archbishop unwilling to grant a special dispensation. Creep.
A possible solution? We may be celebrating the weekend before, guilt free.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUSES