Culinary no-no began on Father’s Day 2007, a beautiful summer day, when I wrote about grilling brats. And eating brats. And topping those brats. I was inspired by my wife, Jennifer who, in my admittedly unscientific opinions, ruins brats by squirting ketchup on them. Other dining taboos quickly came to mind. The original idea was to take this concept only a few months, till the end of summer and then pull the plug. Then the unexpected happened. People started reading Culinary no-no. Lots of folks. So we keep doing the no-no.
The biggest, best, most popular dinner of the year is just a few days away, and people across America are freaking.
Being frightfully apprehensive is understandable. The prospect of hosting Thanksgiving can be daunting. This isn’t a fairly quick and easy outdoor barbecue.
You’ve got a turkey that let’s face it. You don’t prepare one of those babies every day.
There are also appetizers, side dishes, desserts, and drinks you have to juggle.
Company must be entertained and the house has to look clean and presentable. That means decorated.
Blood pressure medicine, please.
Imagine all the potential pre-Turkey Day worries.
Do I have enough serving dishes?
What about centerpieces?
Do I have enough cutlery? Chairs?
Is there enough counter space?
What if people come early?
Where will I put coats?
Are they enough wine glasses?
What kind of wine is best?
How do I thaw the turkey?
How long will it take to cook the turkey?
What if I over-cook the turkey?
What if I under-cook the turkey?
How will I know when the turkey’s done?
I don’t know how to carve a turkey.
Stuffing. Inside or outside the turkey?
How do I keep the gravy hot at the table?
And there are probably a few dozen more.
So, how to avoid food poisoning or any other pitfalls and disasters.
How do I allay fears and nightmares?
First and foremost, relax. There are all kinds of ways to address any causes of Thanksgiving indigestion.
THIS is not one of them!
Why, why, why would I if that worried want to endure the tension, nerves, anxiety, not to mention the cost, energy and time…TWICE!
Going out of your mind in anticipation? My advice.
1) Call Grandma if possible.
2) Call mom if possible.
3) Consult the Internet.
4) Make reservations somewhere.
CULINARY NO-NO BONUSES