Culinary no-no #521

Culinary no-no began on Father’s Day 2007, a beautiful summer day, when I wrote about grilling brats. And eating brats. And topping those brats. I was inspired by my wife, Jennifer who, in my admittedly unscientific opinions, ruins brats by squirting ketchup on them. Other dining taboos quickly came to mind. The original idea was to take this concept only a few months, till the end of summer and then pull the plug. Then the unexpected happened. People started reading Culinary no-no. Lots of folks. So we keep doing the no-no.

Today marks the 10th anniversary of my Culinary no-no blog that began on the old FranklinNOW.com website. I mention the inspiration in the above paragraph.

Originally the thought was to write about a few blatant examples of food gone wrong during the summer months, and then bag the idea. And then came a real head scratcher. Readers liked it. They waited for it. They expected it.

Could a weekly feature even be feasible? Food writers, unless they’re restaurant critics, universally focus on the delicious. I was taking on the exact opposite.

You’d be amazed at how less than daunting a task it turned out after but a few weeks. I began keeping a list of potential topics that just grew and grew.

Granted, I’m no gourmet chef. And I’m not an elitist snob. A foodie to a certain extent? You bet. But who doesn’t like to eat? So I’m eminently qualified to pen this point of view.

There’s no science behind the no-no, although the bulk of items I normally blog can generally be lumped into three categories:

Restaurant behavior

Men wearing hats.

Dressing sloppy.

Disrespecting wait staff.

Feet up on chairs, booths.

Cellphone use, ignoring others at table.

The perfect this/that

No such thing. There’s usually a flaw or more.

Terrible combinations/no-nos that are completely obvious

They’re more prevalent than you think.

The very early installments were often short, simple, and sweet. The blog then evolved into longer segments with lots of photos, food porn when applicable, and the actual no-no buried, not revealed until late in the piece.

I appreciate the support this feature has achieved. How long can we keep going? Who knows? I thought it wouldn’t last 10 weeks.

As part of this anniversary blog here are the first 100 topic we explored. No, the links don’t work anymore, but I thought it would be fun to take a long look back to the blog’s beginning.

1) Ketchup on a brat

2) Green peppers on pizza

3) The dirty martini

4) Fruity brats

5) A Bloody Mary after dinner

6) Women “manning” the grill

7) Eating pizza at Festa Italiana, brats at German Fest, or tacos at Fiesta Mexicana. (Be adventurous. You can have those items anytime)

8) Eating a cream puff as though it was a hamburger

9) Taking your own bottle of sauce when invited to a barbecue

10) Touching the grill if you’re a guest at an outdoor barbecue

11) Coaching the host on how to grill

12) Some regional flavored ice cream…..like black licorice

13) Taking the husks off before you grill corn on the cob

14) Being afraid to chill red wine

15) Pizza on the grill

16) When serving exotic or strange dishes to guests, do not tell them exactly what it is. Instead, use a more inviting term (caviar) rather than being blunt (fish eggs)

17) In late summer and early fall, this time of year, don’t buy zucchini. Somehow, someway, you will find zucchini or zucchini will find you.

18) Showing disrespect to your restaurant server

19) Eating out on a Monday night

20) Pumpkin beer

21) Mail-order turkey

22) Grilled cheese is just for kids

23) Dining in the dark

24) Ketchup on spaghetti

25) Sneaking healthy foods into treats to get your kids to eat it

26) Do not throw away culinary gifts received in the mail because you don’t like them

27) Do not feel guilty about eating Oreos. (Oreos are not to blame for out of control obesity).

28) Doing something so totally ridiculous that you are desperately forced to call the Butterball Turkey Hot-Line for assistance

29) Don’t forget the sweet potato January-October

30) Using resource guides from the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s on gracious living to plan holiday parties

31) Eating cranberries, the best of the super-foods, only during the holidays

32) Egg nog that isn’t spiked

33) Putting hot spices and other weird stuff in chocolate bars and hot cocoa

34) Don’t disregard fruitcake

35) Sparkling wine on New Year’s Eve ain’t champagne

36) Ordering a Coors Light or any facsimile when at an outdoor open-air bar on a tropical beach

37) Smoking bans in restaurants and bars in Wisconsin

38) Goat burgers and healthy items at tailgate parties

39) The restaurant of the future, with all kinds of cameras trained on you for….research

40) The Budweiser Chelada

41) Replating

42) Sour cream on potato pancakes, as opposed to applesauce

43) Meatless Monday’s

44) Digital dining

45) Tips on what not to do to your waiter

46) If you want a traditional St. Patty’s dinner, as good as it is, corned beef and cabbage ain’t it

47) Doing everything to PEEPS except eating them

48) Foodie bloggers and writers eating dangerously

49) The $81 Kobe beef burger

50) Slobs in fancy restaurants

51) Stealing a co-worker’s lunch

52) The impact of biofuels on the global food crisis

53) The worm at the bottom of the bottle

54) NY restaurants must post calorie counts

55) The Brits and Oreos

56) Bottomfeeder

57) What not to put on a Philly Chessesteak

58) Eating insects

59) The Serb Hall ($14.95) fish fry

60) The cost of the ingredients those celebrity chefs use

61) Hats in restaurants

62) Nutraloaf

63) “The burger that will change your life”

64) Fast food and obesity

65) The vanishing pineapple

66) Dining at the Olympics

67) Ethanol quotas and mandates

68) Real expensive pizza

69) The Elvis sandwich

70,71,72,73) Assorted no-no’s

74) Restaurants and calorie counts

75) America’s BEST pizza

76) A cool lounge in Vegas

77) Tomato Romp

78) If you can eat it, it’s free

79) The Skinny Dip at Starbucks

80) The replacement for Pieces of Eight

81) Unusual waiters

82) Breakfast

83) Health conscious trick or treat treats

84) The Hopper (as in grass) pizza

85) The Polish taco

86) Grilling when it’s not summer

87) Shopping carts

88) Vegetarians and Thanksgiving

89) Soldiers in Iraq are reportedly eating too much, too well

90) When is it appropriate to not leave a tip?

91) Airport restaurants

92) Trends we’ll see less of in 2009

93) Spam

94) Don’t eat at Ruby Tuesday…at least, not just yet.

95) Topless coffee shop in Vassalboro

96) Health inspection reports for top restaurants

97) Super Bowl party health scares

98) If restaurants don’t do this during rough economy, they’re in big trouble.

99) Restaurants cutting back on busboys

100) Should gender matter when it comes to restaurant service?

One thought on “Culinary no-no #521

  1. Pingback: My Most Popular Blogs (06/26/17) | This Just In… From Franklin, WI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s