The Packers have a bye week: Now what?

OR, the following is a Public Service Announcement from Kevin Fischer and This Just In…

NFL Week 4

BYE

Green Bay

Philadelphia

Look out guys. The Packers don’t play this week.

Guys, don’t kid yourselves. The women have been plotting…for a long, long time. They fully expect your TV screen this Sunday to look like this…

https://aggregateappeal.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/lcd-tv-with-blank-screen-psd28901.png

Here’s a blog I wrote on this extremely serious topic in October of 2007:

My wife, who knows absolutely nothing about sports, and that would include football, is fully aware that the Green Bay Packers don’t play today because of their bye week.

That clever spouse of mine has already sweetly suggested a shopping trip this afternoon.

I imagine there are all kinds of things to do during a bye week.

A female blogger who goes by the name “thestarterwife” on ladiesdotdotdot.wordpress.com had these suggestions for the Steelers bye week last weekend:

  1. Do your Christmas shopping! And not just because the bargains are terrific this time of year. Come December when the NFL playoff hunt is in full swing and the malls are at their craziest, you’ll be able loaf around on the sofa every weekend guilt-free while all those sad sacks are trying to catch scores on Best Buy displays.
  2. It’s October. Think of all the pumpkins just waiting to be gutted.
  3. Go outside! It misses you. It wonders why it you weren’t out there during the summer, rolling in the grass (Excuse: the pre-season gets earlier and earlier) and why you’re presently not out frolicking through the falling leaves. Plus, as it turns out the rumors are true: reality is slightly clearer than HDTV.
  4. Eat a salad. God knows your digestive tract will appreciate a one-day reprieve from the typical assault of fried and/or alcoholic nonsense.
  5. Visit a museum. Because. You know. Culture. And stuff.
  6. If you insist on staying home, a Sunday afternoon is a good time to catch up on your Netflix and the Tivo you’ve already bloated with four episodes of “Gossip Girl”. (That naughty Chuck Bass is so evil!)
  7. Visit your non-football watching friends. Most likely they’re having a tremendously exciting afternoon of “Scene It” with a box of Cheez-Its and wine spritzers. You probably have a whole plethora of pals who think you lose your mind every fall and would love to see you.
  8. Plan “frisky time” with your mate. Having a full afternoon free for sex can do wonders for a relationship that has been severally strained since the time you begged off saying, “Hold on, I want to make sure I catch Olbermann at halftime.”
  9. Watch baseball. That’s still going, right?

That’s the female perspective.

A few years ago, Keith Hayes wrote these bye week ideas on e-sports.com:

Find Religion: Head to church, confess all of those sins and impure thoughts you’ve committed while attending and watching football games the past six weeks… Oh yes, the sins you committed during the preseason count.

Tailgate at Home: Go to you son’s pee wee or mighty mites game done up in grease paint armed with air horns and noisemakers. Then, break out the grill, cook hamburgers and hot dogs for the kids while getting a sugar high from drinking gallons of Teenie Weenie juices.

Mow the Lawn: You haven’t mowed since the hurricane rains, and your backyard has been labeled protected environment by the National  Wildlife Association.

Be a Father to Your Child: Reintroduce yourself to the kids as the father they knew before week one. This way they can forget all about the terrorizing lunatic who has been screaming obscenities at the TV for the past two weekends.

Get in Touch With Your Sensitive Side: Spend time with the wifey/girlfriend/significant other doing the things they like… Renting movies, watching Lifetime or the Oxygen network. For bonus points, take a trip to Christmas Tree Shops with her.

Become a Redneck: Run out, grab a Nextel phone, some chewin’ tobacca’, Coors beer, a Confederate flag, and practice your best south of the border southern drawl so you can spend the weekend as a NASCAR fan watching drivers make 4 left turns. Remember… It’s Chase for the Cup time so try not to disrespect anyone by rooting for someone who is out of the standings.

Make it a Star Wars Weekend: Call up all of your geeky sci-fi buddies, purchase the Star Wars Trilogy on DVD, and watch it in all of it’s hi-def glory as you fantasize about your wifey/girlfriend/significant other wearing Princess Leia’s slave outfit from Return of the Jedi.

Now my perspective.

Uhh, guys…….get a hold of yourselves.

It’s Sunday.

In October.

The National Football League doesn’t come to a grinding halt because the Packers have the day off.

Do not succumb to the “honeydew” assault: “Honey do this, Honey do that.”

Here are Kevin Fischer’s ideas on what to do during a Packers bye week:
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1) WATCH FOOTBALL

There is no #2.

2 thoughts on “The Packers have a bye week: Now what?

  1. Pingback: Remember no Packer game today | This Just In… From Franklin, WI

  2. Pingback: My Most Popular Blogs (10/03/16) | This Just In… From Franklin, WI

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